About 4 days into the new year I had to head on over to the ER. There is (VERY conveniently) an ER right across the street from me, and I was the only one there so I was actually in and out very very quickly even though it was about 11 at night. I’ve always been allergic to capsaicin (chili, jalapenos, red pepper, etc) but it never progressed to actual anaphylaxis until then. I’d eaten Café Rio for dinner, and it was the first time it’d ever tasted “spicy” to me, and you could tell everyone in there was like “if you know you’re allergic, why’d you eat it???” but again I’d never had this reaction to Café Rio before – I’ve eaten it all the time and I love their salads. I was a little frustrated since they didn’t completely seem to be taking me seriously, but only about 2% of the population even have an allergy to capsaicin so it’s not very common. Thankfully, they still gave me some steroids and a prescription which helped immensely, especially since I needed more the next day. It really wiped me out, but thankfully I’d caught it in time. Just no more Café Rio for me, ugh.
Four days later I was scheduled for my second spine shot, and that went really really well. Until I realized after the lack of sleep due to stress about my current living situation, my ER visit and now my shot, I was starting to get sick. Because my muscles were getting weak from being sick, my back started spasming and was really painful, so I had to stay home from work and recover for a few days. Thankfully it was just a small fever and cold, and I was better after a few days of rest.
I got about a week of peace before I got my second anaphylactic response from vegetarian pizza. Pretty sure either something was cross-contaminated or I was actually sensitive to the freaking green peppers that were on it. UGH. I can’t win apparently. I had only just gotten my EpiPen too, so I was hesitant to use it because I didn’t want to “waste” it. The Urgent Care did give me some steroids to take with me and a prescription to fill just in case I’d ever need them again, which helped a lot. I’d been hesitant to take any Benadryl since the last time I’d taken two of them which hadn’t really done anything to curb the anaphylaxis. I felt bad going to the quick care when it seemed minor, but I’d have been less anxious had I been bleeding all over the place versus not really being able to breathe. After that first ER visit when I waffled for a few hours on whether or not to go, I feel when it comes to eyes and breathing, it’s best to go get it checked out. It helped to ease a lot of the anxiety, so it was a win-win.
Amidst all of that, one of the major difficulties in recent months was asking my sister’s fiancé to leave the house. I’d moved into my sister’s house to help him out with things and of course the dogs, which is when we found her will. Unfortunately, with the discovery of my sister leaving everything to me and my family, and the date of the sentencing, the situation started spiraling downhill. Her fiancé refused to get any help, and his behavior worsened to where he started verbally lashing out at me and my family. It was not how any of us wanted the situation to play out – we’d tried to include him in our family and to help him – but he kept pushing us away, and the resulting toxicity from his declining mental health and substance abuse was not something I was willing to live with. It was extremely stressful for the two months that it took for him to move out, but things are finally beginning to settle.
Once he moved out I was able to proceed with the project(s) that my sister wanted to do for the house. The biggest one is the flooring – the house is mostly tile and carpet. The tile was demoed around Thanksgiving and the vinyl planking installed in the main areas, but the master suite and front rooms still needed doing. I’ve needed to do baseboards too since the ones around the tile were destroyed (I had a misunderstanding about that) so I’ve needed to buy new ones and paint them. So it was a whirlwind having my family and friends help me clean up the master suite and remove those baseboards so I could repaint them and re-install them once the new flooring was down.
So that was a hectic two weeks of cleaning, scheduling, painting the master closet which my sister was unable to get to before her accident, getting the flooring down, and painting the baseboards and nailing them back on. My oldest sister had wanted to help me move and organize my things, so she flew down for the weekend to help. She’s really great at organization that makes sense, so she really helped me with my kitchen. I’m not very good at that – organizing my crafts, yes, but for cooking? Nope lololol – but once it’s organized I can very much keep it that way. It was really great to have her here, even if the weekend felt much too short.
With everything that’s happened, I’ve wanted to kind of incorporate Lindsay’s taste with mine, to remember her while still doing my own thing and healing. We have very similar tastes in the types of things we like, just differing on the colors we prefer. So I’ve wanted to mesh our styles as a bit of a tribute to her while still having my own taste and things that I love as a part of that. For example, I love navy and light blue/turquoise (which are my barn colors) and she loved turquoise and yellow. Low and behold, a trendy style (I think, cause that’s what I’ve seen in stores, but what do I know about color trends?? lol) is navy and yellow, and I’ve managed to find a few navy, yellow, and turquoise things on Amazon. I’m very excited for it, and I think it’ll look really nice. When I told my older sister Heidi about my ideas for what I’d like to do, it was extremely reassuring that she thought Lindsay would really like what I had planned. That while I was still incorporating Lindsay’s tastes with things, I was still also making it my own, which is what Lindsay would’ve wanted.
It’s been a process to really realize that it’s okay and healthy for me to want to do my own things with the house. I worried for a long time that maybe I should keep things the same, or some of my differing tastes wouldn’t go with what she had planned. I think I’ve been able to find a healthy medium – to tribute colors to her, and keep her bookshelves of books because that was something both of us loved together, and other things that highlighted her personality and who she was, while not getting lost in that and still finding products and decorating in ways that are true to what I love and how I would like things to look.
Now, the only parts left that need the flooring are the two front bedrooms and the guest bath, and it’ll all be done. It was a big thing that Lindsay wanted to do, so I’ll be very happy once it’s complete. Plus, I’m gonna be honest, painting and re-nailing baseboards back on is not something that I ever really want to do again haha. Once that’s really done I can start getting down to the details, and setting up those front rooms as a craft/guest bedroom and an office/workout room. I will try to take more pictures this time, since this last one I was so busy getting things done I forgot to actually take more photos!
As you can imagine, I haven’t really been riding at all. My back is doing very well, but I’ve been so busy, stressed, and exhausted that I haven’t really had any more mental energy to do anything extra with Amber, even though she’s one of those that really doesn’t need much mental energy. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get more time with her soon and she won’t be mad at me anymore for the lack of attention she’s been getting from me. She’s been doing just fine though, which has been a big relief for me amidst all the stress.
Oscar is still doing well too, and is enjoying being back at his house with his back yard. He gives me the absolute saddest looks when I have to leave for work since he’s been used to having my mom around all day, but he’s still been just fine thankfully. My parents do pop over every now and again to hang out with him so he gets some love during the day, and I know he really loves that. He’s known us for 9 years now, and I’m pleased that he loves all of us.
I did do a few fun things, such as going to see the theatre production of Moulin Rouge at the Smith’s Center, which was really well done. They did a great mash-up of the original songs with more current ones that wonderfully fit the scenes of the show, so if anyone finds themselves in Vegas I would recommend. I also went with a friend to see Taylor Tomlinson. We both love her comedy so it was an absolutely great night of laughs. We had a blast and I’d definitely go see her again.
Thank you everyone for reading this far if you have! I know it’s a lot and not a lot of info at the same time, and none of it horsey, but it certainly explains a few things haha. I don’t foresee me having a lot of time to blog much, but I’ll try to at least take more pictures so when I do post here or on social media I can have more images to share. I hope everyone has been doing well, and I still enjoy following all of you on your blogs!