Author’s Curse? Blogger’s Curse?

I’ve heard of the author’s curse (and if anyone hasn’t, it’s when an author writes or publishes something, and almost immediately after they tend to have some crazy things happen in their lives – usually tragedies), but I wonder if there’s a blogger’s curse? Because as soon as I said everything was fine, it all went to shit.

The animals are at least (mostly) fine. Oscar had his dental appointment (oof, my bank account said), and was a very clingy and needy dachshund. So, my attention was focused on him, especially since my sister and niece were visiting for a week around that time. Poor guy was SO exhausted by my niece. He’s really calmed down a lot since turning 11, and her energy exhausted him I think. To be totally fair to Kaylee, she really didn’t bug him all that much, but he’s had kids be very mean to him, so he doesn’t like them. He just wasn’t himself with her around, and it took him longer than usual to recover from his dental this time, so I gave him much attention.

Amber did not like this. (I am sure you can see where this is going.) She must’ve overheard me say something, because I believe she thought that requiring a vet visit would get her more attention. She was – very unfortunately – quite right. Bright and early at 6 am on July 4 she decided to get out of her stall and go frolicking around in the desert like the little shit she claims she isn’t. This was fine. She was good. Then she decided to pull her very first evasive maneuver ever. Normally, even when loose, she’s very easy to catch. If I tell her “whoa” and get in front of her, she will stop, and she will let you catch her, especially if there is food involved. Unfortunately, when my dad tried to catch her as she was cantering down the aisle, she darted to the side, and smacked into the door, giving herself a wonderful wound on her right side right where a girth goes. Cue the emergency vet visit.

(And potentially gross pic ahead, so fair warning.)

She was okay for a few days, but she’d given herself a good inch-and-a-half divot, and it’s a prime place for puss to build up. It all just came plopping out when I had the vet come back around day 5. Since I didn’t have the time or energy to juggle all my adult responsibilities and twice a day SMZs and wound care for Amber, we whisked her away to the vet’s so they could pack the wound and monitor its healing. It was really a relief for me – I knew she was well-cared for up there, and if it got infected again, or the god-awful 118-120 degree weather affected her, she was in a prime place to get immediate care. And a relief it may have been for the two and a half weeks she was there, but my bank account is internally screaming. Still.

At least the wound healed really really nicely, and while she may not have gotten attention from me, Amber got the desired affect of making new friends (she was not nice to all of them, though she loved the little foal she was next to), and having a whole team of vets and assistants giving her attention. I love her to death, she is my absolute bestest mare and my heart horse, but she is also a little shit lol.

She also tripped walking in a straight line the other day (because of course she did), and strained her knee. I had the vet out again, and we took a few x-rays and gave her an injection to settle the swelling and we’ll see how it is in two weeks. This one I’m not so upset about because it is the knee that she injured as a 2-yr-old, so I relatively expected that it might need more maintenance in the future. I’m just shaking my head, because this horse you guys, I swear. In the meantime, I’ll ride Whisper and get her out.

I won’t go into detail (mostly cause it’s too hard), but over the past few months, my mom took a turn for the worse, and it was a slew of hospital visits, doctor’s appointments, and health issues. The cancer spread, and she wasn’t responding to further treatment. We only had about a month after hearing that before she passed away. We were lucky enough to all be there with her when it happened, so she wasn’t alone, and wasn’t in pain, which is all she and we wanted. I had started my master’s, but that’s on hold indefinitely. I may not even pick it up again in the future; who knows. It wasn’t something I really wanted to do or had any type of drive to do, and with her gone…. I’ve got Amber and Whisper now, and it was already difficult juggling just Amber with the slew of other adult responsibilities, so I need to adjust and figure out how to now care for Whisper too. My dad is helping, but it’s hard needing to care for Whisper without my mom here – just like it was with Oscar and my sister. My mom was my horse buddy, and the only one in the family that shared my passion for horses. I’ve never had to do horses without her.

So. Things are…. well, not fine, but just…. different. There’s just a lot right now, so I’m trying to take it easy on myself, try to do things that bring me joy. Or at least, since any type of happiness or joy is difficult to come by, peace. I don’t have school anymore, so I’m trying now to lose myself in crafting and writing and anything else that will give me a little bit of relief from reality. I’ve still enjoyed reading everyone else’s blogs and what you all are doing – I’m living vicariously through all of you!