Catching up

Oh boy. I haven’t blogged in…..just over a month apparently. There hasn’t really been much to blog on, but it’s really got nothing to do with there being no news in general with Amber. Mostly, it’s because shit’s just been really hard. Just be prepared – this is a bit of a life-rant lol.

A lot of this has been brewing since mid-January, and then just piling on from there. I started having severe back pain mid-January, and it was so bad I had to stay home from work. Turns out we’re pretty sure I have a bulging disc in my lower back. Hurray. This does put a damper on riding though not a lot thank god because riding absolutely helps it – but I’ve had to change a lot of what I do every day. Also since February, I’ve been in a near-constant state of exhaustion, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I couldn’t even function as a human (at least, more than usual). Turns out, my mattress ended up the culprit. It wasn’t meant for a bulging disc, and after sleeping for 11 hours straight on my old mattress at my parent’s house when they went to get Kahlua… Well, a new bed was for sure in order. It’s all paid off – my back is doing well now, and I’m actually sleeping and feeling better.

I’m also realizing pulling myself out of this constant state of exhaustion didn’t help me with my last class. I felt ready to start my class in June but I think I should’ve waited once I found out about the sleep deprivation, especially since my coworker decided right as I started the class to cut back their hours to only two days a week, which means that I then started working three 10-hr shifts a week. I had a week to cancel, but I thought I could do it. Hindsight, I suppose. I have been behind the entire time in this particular class, and finally got all of my assignments turned in Wednesday. Aaaaand the class ended Sunday. But I finished? And got a B so I don’t have to retake it? Silver lining, I guess?

Our usual not-so-successful selfie

July just has not been good for me, and everything that I got behind on in life due to the exhaustion is now catching up to me like a freight train, too.

I’ve had some fun things interspersed in all this, but it hasn’t been much. It’s just been a lot to try to handle these last few months, and unfortunately, it isn’t going to get any easier as I try to fix all the things that fell by the wayside. Unfortunately, it also hasn’t just been one thing; it’s been all aspects – work, school, food, and even free time. It’s been a shit show.

And finally a good one!

It’s probably not gonna be pretty for a while, and I’ll make more mistakes as I try to fix things, but you gotta do what you gotta, right? So, I’m changing a few things. Work is starting to improve. I’m done with my class so that’s a load off as I rest in August before taking another one. In the food aspect I’ve had to really change things around, too. I started cooking more instead of getting frozen foods. I have some old Blue Apron recipes that I can remake or mix and match, so that’s an easy way to “meal plan” because I really really hate meal planning, and it’s pretty easy to make those simpler. So far, it’s all been helping, and I’m actually a bit surprised how much changing my food is helping. I now think I was low-key starving myself. I was eating, but none of what I was eating had the right nutrients in it whatsoever to actually provide my body with what it needed. So now that it is getting the nutrients it needs, I’m feeling better.

Dachshunds!

But I think that, to balance my life and get some of my former confidence back, I need to start doing something horsey again. Horses are my spirit booster, and no riding has a part of my brain a bit depressed, I think. I’m brainstorming things to do with Amber, and have kind of come up with something. It’s low key, no pressure, but gives the both of us something new to learn and something to do together, and I’ll post on it later once I actually do it a little and get some media lol. I want to do lessons again, but there are just a lot of extenuating circumstances that make it not quite feasible at the moment. In a weak moment I very nearly bought a yearling filly that has very similar bloodlines to Amber (I messaged the owner and everything so it was very close haha). She pretty much ticked ALL of my weakness boxes, but I have nowhere to put a second horse even as a resale project soooooo lol. Plus, Amber had a vet appointment on Tuesday with good, positive news (which I’ll post later, too), so that has really boosted my mood.

SHE’S SO CUTE. She’s a Paddy’s Irish Whiskey granddaughter, just like Amber, but with more reining lines on her dam’s side. And her registered name is Whiskey Slippers. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT. I’m still sad I made myself say no to this cutie pie.

So, uh, yeah. Thanks for listening/reading, guys. I always appreciate everyone that comments, and if you’ve gotten to this part in my life-rant, congrats and thanks lol. I live vicariously through all of you guys!

13 Comments on “Catching up

  1. OMG that is a lot (AND I would have had to buy that filly HOW CUTE IS SHE) I salute your tenaciousness NOT to buy her. Man.

    I hope life continues to get better. I too am exhausted all the time we bought a nice (EXPENSIVE) bed which I love but i am still not sleeping and still ache. I seem to want to sleep from 3-4 am onward like the dead but am awake most of the early part of the night. UGH

    How is Kahlua doing? Settling in? Great news on good news for Amber! Can’t wait.

    Welcome back πŸ™‚ we have missed you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was a near thing. Literally the only things keeping me from saying I’d buy her is I want to go to Kentucky next year and that I have no stall to put her. Otherwise, I was soooo ready to to tell the owner she was mine now lol.
      Maybe get an extra foam topper? I know that helped me even though there’s a foam top already in the mattress. That sounds similar to my issue – I didn’t realize that subconsciously I didn’t want to lay down on the mattress. I’d go to bed at like 1 in the morning and have to wake up at 5 or 6 for work. My body couldn’t stand being on that other mattress for longer than 5-6 hours.
      Kahlua is doing well! A little setback, which I will post on as well, and hopefully I’ll have a full post and lots of media for Amber’s update :).
      And thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bug hugs from far away. Take some deep breaths, even better if full of that lovely horse smell, and give yourself some much needed time to make yourself happy and grounded. Food makes such a difference.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry you’ve been having such a hard go of it! I hear what you’re saying about feeling better when you’re eating better though. Whenever I get my diet back “on the wagon” it’s crazy how much everything else seems to improve. Something about proper nutrition and all that lol!

    And OMG. Whiskey Slippers?! Best. Name. Ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry about your back, my mom also has a bulging disk that she is going to have surgery on. You are being way more proactive on getting yourself to feel better in a variety of ways than she is though which for you makes me happy (makes me a bit sad about my mom). Hope everything settles down into manageable levels and you are able to do your fun horsey things again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! I have totally learned the hard way what happens when I don’t take care of it so yeah I am determined not to let it negatively affect riding. Cause there is no way I’ll ever stop riding permanently lol. That makes me sad for your mom too! I hope she has a good recovery after her surgery ❀

      Like

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