Updates All Around
As much as I love blogging, and writing really helps me to process things, I haven’t done it nearly as much as I’d like to. It’s something I really enjoyed doing, and following everyone else, and being so excited when I saw that others uploaded another post. I’d really like to get back to that. So, I got it in my head to give my site a bit of a glow-up, a new name, and rework a few things.
I changed my instagram name to something a little closer to one of my main hobbies, then brainstormed a few new names for my blog based off of the things I really like to talk about: namely my horses, my dog, and my binding projects. I really love the new title, and I really think it fits a lot of what I’m doing in my life right now and what I love. I can’t really ride the girls much anymore, if at all, and I don’t want to inundate this blog with a constant “same ol’, same ol'”, so I figure I can highlight a few other things, such as Oscar and my projects that I enjoy doing.
2025 News – The Good and Not-So-Good
It has been a wonky start to 2025 out here in the desert. But, thankfully everyone remains relatively healthy and as happy as they can be.
I was invited to a short trail ride early in December, and that was a lot of fun. Amber was anxious being away from Whisper and Kahlua, and the other horses got her blood up a little, but she was as ever my bestest girl. She may not have done anything like that in the last few years, and even without being really ridden for over 2 months she was her usual self and allowed me to have complete trust in her. My back did fantastically on the ride as well, so my workout regimen looks like it’s working, and I’m really excited by what this can mean for me for the future and getting back into riding. Whisper and Kahlua were great with Amber gone, and usually Amber is the one perfectly happy to be away from others as long as other horses are around. Not so this time, but I wasn’t upset or worried. She’s retired, and if she wants to jig a bit I’m totally fine with it.
Author’s Curse? Blogger’s Curse?
I’ve heard of the author’s curse (and if anyone hasn’t, it’s when an author writes or publishes something, and almost immediately after they tend to have some crazy things happen in their lives – usually tragedies), but I wonder if there’s a blogger’s curse? Because as soon as I said everything was fine, it all went to shit.
The animals are at least (mostly) fine. Oscar had his dental appointment (oof, my bank account said), and was a very clingy and needy dachshund. So, my attention was focused on him, especially since my sister and niece were visiting for a week around that time. Poor guy was SO exhausted by my niece. He’s really calmed down a lot since turning 11, and her energy exhausted him I think. To be totally fair to Kaylee, she really didn’t bug him all that much, but he’s had kids be very mean to him, so he doesn’t like them. He just wasn’t himself with her around, and it took him longer than usual to recover from his dental this time, so I gave him much attention.
Time for an Update
Long time no post everyone! I’ve been following along on everyone’s updates and really enjoyed hearing from people, so I figured I’d put in my own update since I haven’t blogged in about a year I think.
It’s been a bit busy – I recently started my IT master’s degree and it’s been a bit difficult to get back into the swing of doing homework again, but it’s getting easier to try getting it done before my Sunday due dates so I can still have time to relax, take care of the house, etc and try to hang out with Amber. Weather has been its usual hurricane-winds-in-March self, just warmer. It has continued into April, which it doesn’t usually, but thankfully they aren’t the gale-force winds of March. I just can’t believe it’s already the middle of April.
Still Around
I am still here – I have just been… busy? I guess is the right word? I sure have FELT very busy even though I don’t feel I’ve been doing all that much at the same time LOL. It’s probably actually not that I’m busy, just that I’ve been watching every single hockey game – which the Golden Knights won the Stanley Cup!!! Not gonna lie, I am ecstatic. It was 100% amazing. Not sure what I’m going to do with myself now that hockey is over – maybe actually get out and ride. Except now we’re getting hit with the 100+ temps and riding in that is a no thanks for me.
Either way, not much has been going on. My family and I drove to Reno to visit my sister and her family for a long weekend, and it was a really great time. There was a bit of difficulty figuring out the dog situation since Oscar isn’t a fan of other dogs, and my sister’s dog doesn’t like small dogs, but we finally managed to get everyone happy. Both dogs were in their crates in the main room with all of their beloved people walking around, and no one was barking or unhappy. At least mostly unhappy lol. Either way it was a great visit, and she’ll be coming for another visit soon. It was a definitely needed vacation, but then I got sick the week after, tweaked my back a little after that, so there hasn’t been much to tell.
Hectic start to 2023
About 4 days into the new year I had to head on over to the ER. There is (VERY conveniently) an ER right across the street from me, and I was the only one there so I was actually in and out very very quickly even though it was about 11 at night. I’ve always been allergic to capsaicin (chili, jalapenos, red pepper, etc) but it never progressed to actual anaphylaxis until then. I’d eaten Café Rio for dinner, and it was the first time it’d ever tasted “spicy” to me, and you could tell everyone in there was like “if you know you’re allergic, why’d you eat it???” but again I’d never had this reaction to Café Rio before – I’ve eaten it all the time and I love their salads. I was a little frustrated since they didn’t completely seem to be taking me seriously, but only about 2% of the population even have an allergy to capsaicin so it’s not very common. Thankfully, they still gave me some steroids and a prescription which helped immensely, especially since I needed more the next day. It really wiped me out, but thankfully I’d caught it in time. Just no more Café Rio for me, ugh.
Four days later I was scheduled for my second spine shot, and that went really really well. Until I realized after the lack of sleep due to stress about my current living situation, my ER visit and now my shot, I was starting to get sick. Because my muscles were getting weak from being sick, my back started spasming and was really painful, so I had to stay home from work and recover for a few days. Thankfully it was just a small fever and cold, and I was better after a few days of rest.
The Very Sad Dachshund
Unfortunately, through Thanksgiving week, Oscar became very painful, and we weren’t sure what was hurting him so much. By Thursday evening he seemed to feel very poorly, and was very much not his excitable self. When he yelped a few times, I decided he needed to get seen and quickly because he was very uncomfortable, and none of us like seeing our babies in pain. So, off to the emergency vet we trekked at 10 pm Thanksgiving night. Thankfully, he seemed okay after the whole ordeal, and they gave us a steroid and a pain medication for him.
Since they palpated his neck and found that’s where he was most painful, they wanted him to rest with no jumping on and off furniture. This meant that I’d need to keep him away from stimulation, so I had to take him over to my parents house where there is much less furniture on which to jump, as well as no Zeus. As much as Oscar loves his best friend, he and Zeus feed off of each other a lot, and with me gone at work I couldn’t ensure that Oscar was resting. So he stayed with my mom and dad, and was doing pretty well through the weekend. I’d made a follow-up appointment with our regular vet for last Tuesday.
My Ultimate Breeches Guide
I have…..many breeches so this post will be quite long. I’ve never liked buying form-fitting pants – I have always preferred loose fitting, casual clothes and I hated jeans for the longest time. Mostly it has to do with me being a very hard shape to fit (mostly hourglass, a bit pear), and that I have SPD (sensory processing disorder) which can make clothes feel constricting, scratchy and itchy, so I’m very particular about fit and fabrics. But low and behold – I am a bit of a breech hoarder. Something I hadn’t quite realized until actually going through my drawers to catalog this post. Most of these I’m planning to give away or commission at my local tack store since many don’t fit anymore, but those will definitely still be included in this list. This post is about the basics – which brands/types/colors I have and their fabric, style, durability, cost, stain resistance, stickability, and fit. Also, I started this post a while back, so while styles have changed a bit, I’m trying to also provide good links for all the breeches I have.
And at the end, I list my top 3 choices so if you want to skip ahead and avoid my rambling, by all means!
Best babysitter ever
The end of May, my sister and niece Kaylee came to visit. Kaylee is 4 now, and is still the cutest, most opinionated niece ever. I am totally not going to lie that being the “cool aunt” was absolutely awesome haha. I would come over in the morning to visit and after five minutes of being excited to see me, it was “are we going to ride Amber?!” It was great.
My mom has a beautiful Pre de Nations saddle that she’s kept forever in her trunk, and it’s been labeled as the kid’s saddle for whenever kids (more specifically grandkids) were to ride. Well, Kaylee immediately wanted to see the saddle, and try on her kid’s helmet that I bought her as I assembled the kid’s stirrups onto the saddle. So then obviously, we had to ride.
Lessons! And a very hot weekend
After I’d written my Friday post, Genevive texted me asking if I was sure I’d like to ride since it was a) supposed to be the hottest weekend yet and b) she didn’t really have a horse for me to really jump on. Which is no big deal at all – at least the horse part haha. The heat is a definite factor, but I’d been excited for that lesson since I’d made it three weeks prior so I wasn’t going to cancel! As much as I have really enjoyed riding Amber this week and she’s been great, I have missed lessons. And, I ended up jumping a little anyway, so it all worked out. Plus, she offered to let me ride TWO horses – how in the world could I say no to that?!
4th of July (Small) Tack Haul
It has certainly been interesting since I last posted. I’d meant to post an adorable photo dump of Amber being the perfect babysitter for my niece (and I still will post that), but things started happening one after the other so it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.
My family has had a slew of health problems in the last few weeks – thankfully not due to covid – but it has been really hard, so I was in need of some retail therapy. I haven’t really bought anything I don’t absolutely need for Amber in probably the last year and a half, so when RW’s 15% popped up, I figured I’d snatch up a few things I’ve been eyeing.
Kahlua Friday: Burro Gentling
When we first got Kahlua, it was really hard for me to work with her. I liked it, but there was also always this sense of dread whenever I needed to work with her. I ended up putting a lot of pressure on myself and it just wasn’t working.
So I backed up for a while. Didn’t work with her at all aside from feeding, mucking, and treats. And honestly, I think it’s been the right choice for me, but actually for Kahlua too. She’s been with us almost a year now, but through our daily routines she’s super willing to come up to us now. She is so delicate taking treats tho – it’s legit the cutest thing haha.
Good News from Vegas: Amber, Whisper, and Choco Living the Life
There really isn’t any excuse as to why I haven’t posted anything, but alas, I have not haha. I noticed through this that while I’m home, I tend not to visit social media a lot. No FB, no Insta, no blogging…. So I’m trying to change that a little with this post haha. I’m enjoying being unplugged from most social media lol. I still follow, but it’s definitely been less. The no blogging has mostly been because there’s not really a lot for me to write about, but a few (very) good things have happened recently amidst all this and it’s a huge relief.
I am extremely lucky in that short of not going to work every day, nothing has really changed for me. I am a very typical extroverted introvert, so while I do miss the occasional brunch outing with a friend, I have found it to be extremely relieving to slow down, spend time doing things I couldn’t before, and let myself be quiet.
Bloghop: Gratitude in Uncertain Times
I loved the post that Liz from In Omnia Paratus wrote on Friday, and definitely wanted to add to the positivity. I’m grateful that….
- I still work. My company has been great about helping all of their employees out while we go down to essential personnel. Even though my job can’t really be done from home, we’ve figured out things for me to do at home so that I can still work and still bring in a paycheck.
- My animals. Choco, Amber, Whisper, and Kahlua don’t know anything about what’s going on, and keeping up with their routines has definitely helped bring more normalcy to this situation. I still get nickers from the horses, squeaks from Kahlua, and tail wags from Choco whenever I see them, and I’m so grateful that I still get to spend so much time with them everyday.
- I am very glad I still have a place to live, countless books to read, and plenty of streaming shows to watch in my free time. Maybe I can make a dent in those 2,000+ ebooks I own….? haha I’ll probably make more of a dent in the TV shows/movies that have been on my list forever.
- Everyone in my family and my very close friends are safe. They all also still have their jobs too, which is a relief. I still see them a lot of the time – especially my parents since they have the horses on the property – but considering my parents are older I’m glad I get to make sure they’re alright!
- Spring is bringing lots and lots of rain to Vegas, which is very needed! Usually, we have one or two really heavy rainstorms that create a lot of flash flooding, but this time we’ve had multiple rainstorms over multiple weeks that have dumped water without flooding. It’s even made a lot of grass grow at our place, which is perfect to get the horses out to graze for a few minutes.
- Also so grateful for this blogging community – you guys are the best!
Too much? LOLOLOL Stay safe and healthy everyone!
Shutting Down Vegas
It has certainly been a very quick, interesting couple of days. A lot has happened in a short amount of time, and a lot of us are reeling.
Tuesday night, the Nevada governor issued a “close all non-essential businesses” directive for 30 days – casinos are directed to completely shut down, and other places had to shut down no later than noon on Wednesday. Essential businesses such as grocery stores, police, fire department, hospitals, etc, are still running, but only to essential personnel.
Moar jump lessons!!
This lesson on Jan 25 was good. I’m sure it had to do with my attitude/plan/better day, but we synced a lot more. In light of my last lesson, what Genevive said about wanting him to stretch down over the jump and that we were trying to teach him rhythm and consistency in pace to make him a good ride for his owner really stuck with me. I realized that I had been treating him like a jumper horse that last lesson – let’s go go go! – instead of what he REALLY was, which was a Hunter horse. Lightbulb turned on, thank you very much brain.
Jump lessons!
I had jump lessons! Yay! One was on Dec 13, and the other one Jan 10, but at least I’m finally getting around to writing about it? lol I have helmet cam footage for my Dec 13 lesson, but I was running a bit late to my second lesson, so it was either go back to my apartment and grab my helmet camera or get caffeine. Well, I chose caffeine. And once the lesson was done, I wished I’d skipped it and gotten my camera. Ugh. 20/20, I guess.
Either way, both lessons were good. I got to try out a new pony – western pleasure wasn’t the right discipline for him, so now he’s having a blast in his (very) new and (recent) transfer to the hunter ring. He’s absolutely so adorably sweet, and amazingly enough he’s like this crazy-great mix between Amber and Whisper. I am in love. I may or may not have pestered Genevive about where she got him, because he’s 16 hands too and feels like my kind of horse.
Frisky red pony
We’ve had cold and wet weather since the week before Thanksgiving, which for Vegas is not par for the course. Temperature-wise it was colder last year, but it was sunny and dry. This winter we’re cloudy and wet with warmer temps, but the lack of sun and the increased humidity has had everyone feeling quite a bit colder than normal. There’s been a consistent 10-degree temp vs “feels like” difference as the days have remained cloudy, and this definitely affects the ponies.
The day before Thanksgiving was windy with a wall of threatening clouds coming over the west mountains, and I decided it was a good day to ride Amber. I…don’t know why haha. The day before was beautiful and I didn’t ride! But nasty weather, let’s do it lol. Either way, Amber was frisky. She had some extra pep in her step. She was so good about trying hard and keeping a lid on her happy, so I just let her canter out. That was one happy pony! I let her just go for one time around the arena, then sat back and asked her to work. Turns out that little “run” was all she needed, and her extra friskiness gave her good pep and energy for us to work on her canter. She gave me some of her best right lead canter to date, and I kept each one short. I needed to lift her up a little, remind her to sit on her butt, but despite the happies she really did well.
Riding in between
After our good lesson, Amber and I have had some par-for-the-course rides. Most good, some in between.
Since I mentioned it in my other post, I’ll start with our “off” ride sometime mid-November. Amber had been really good the day before. It was nearing our 3 weeks post-injection, so I wanted a bit of video of how she was moving to show my vet. I’d gotten good footage the day before, and wanted to show him 2 days of riding in a row. Well, I hadn’t known my cousin was visiting, so in the middle of our ride when they wanted a few pics of me and the horse. Someone had been eating an apple, Amber was very intrigued. We got our canter footage after, and then when I continued to ride, they watched.
Nov 10 Lesson
That I am FINALLY getting to after a month haha. This was a pretty good lesson. Amber was certainly a bit lit for the majority of the trot work and a bit reactive. But I think that’s more due to her being unbalanced and a bit fatigued. I generally don’t ride her longer than 30 minutes, and our lessons tend to be around 45, but I have been filling that 30 minutes with less walking.
This lesson was definitely about figuring out Amber’s balance. I asked Genevive to work with us on our serpentines and transitions, though really the whole lesson centered around those serpentines once we we figured out that Amber was having trouble with balance. In the rides preceding this lesson, Amber got really quick and unbalanced curving left, which helped me decide to inject her stifle to see if it would help – and to just help her stay more comfortable. You can see in the video after we start trotting that she’s being a very good girl and trying, and then just gets super imbalanced when we try to do the right curve through the cones. After a few off steps she got the balance back, but I was very glad that Trainer G had been able to see one of the issues we’d been facing. It just…happened on a different side, but it works haha.
Black Friday haul
I know I’m about a week late on this, but I wanted to get everything in before posting it!
I had a plan for Black Friday, and it really centered around Riding Warehouse lol. A big part of that was BOT, since Amber has responded very well to it. They had the BOT white and gold pad that I’ve been in love with ever since it came out, so I nabbed that.
That, and the navy and gold BOT pad (long story short there was timeline/shipping cost issues so I grabbed it at full price someplace else), were the two most expensive items I bought, but I added a few other things I’ve been eyeing.
Amber has been smacking the inside of her fetlocks since we got into light work as her laminitis has healed, so I thought about getting her BOT for that, too. But I took a look at them at a local tack store, and they weren’t discounted there or at RW either, so I found a pair of really cheap Horze hind interference boots, AND they came in navy! I’m good on boots now. I’ve got my gold PS of Sweden boots, some brushing boots, and now these for when we’ll be doing more and I’m not sure polos are sufficient padding.
I was in need of good socks, so I bought my favorite Noble outfitters in lots of colors. Since I haven’t gotten dressage leathers, I switched my stirrups to my black jump leathers. I’ve thought about selling those a lot, but I wanted dressage leathers in hand before I sold them, and I’m glad I did. Switching my leathers also reminded me what an absolute pain it is, so I bought the exact same black composite stirrups I already had. They were pretty cheap on sale, so in the bag they went. Ah… you know…. Just in case I have a jump lesson on a different horse one of these days? lol
There was a very small need for Amber to have a new girth, so I grabbed a Shire’s one on sale. It works better than her Smartpak fleece one, whose elastic is all stretched out. It’s also a 30, and thankfully Amber has kept her weight very well to solidly fit a 28. For a small horse, she’s got a deep heartgirth, just….not so deep as a Warmblood haha so those full-size dressage pads are pretty long on her. She’s a fan of fleece and leather, and the first day I rode her in it and the BOT white pad we had a fantastic ride. So definitely a win.
I also added some polar fleece gloves. It hasn’t been very cold here, just very wet, which is so weird for Vegas. But I am anticipating January to be cold, so I’m preparing and we’ll see how these Heritage fleece gloves hold up.
That’s really it! Hopefully for a while lol. I need to keep saving up for Kentucky next year!
Frustrated. Suggestions?
So remember back when I was cleared to ride Amber lightly and work her up I bought new Lund dressage stirrup leathers?
Ummmmm….. I still haven’t gotten them.
I emailed back and forth with Rob Jensen until about mid-September, I’ve emailed them again, I’ve FB messaged them, and I’ve filled out the “contact us” form on their website. Crickets. The charge is there on my credit card, and at this point, I’m about to call them and have them remove it since I can’t get a hold of them and I’ve never received a shipping notification (I have before), so I don’t think it’s lost in the mail.
I waited this long because things can be hectic during holidays, but I feel like it’s been plenty long enough for them to have gotten a hold of me.
I am really not sure what else to do except get the charge off my card. Is anyone else having issues? Does anyone else know perhaps why no one’s getting back to me?
The Hamster Brain
Wherein I’m talking about my brain, actually – not a horse’s.
The brain is so fascinating. It runs pretty much 24/7 without fail. Now double that, or triple and quadruple that, and you have ADHD.
I have realized that I want to post a few of my drafts, but I feel for you guys to really understand them, I need to write some background, because the backgrounds are long posts in and of themselves. Plus, I have really felt a desire, a drive to post something about my own mental journey. I’ve loved reading all the posts with you bloggers being so honest about your mental state, and I have been wanting to write a post about my ADHD for a few months now. For those months it sat, half-written and half-formed. It just never quite felt right to post it until recently though.
I am what people consider high-functioning ADHD. To look at me, many times talk to me, you’d never guess that I do have ADHD. I’m smart, sociable, seem extroverted, am pretty stoic, and a think-through-a-crisis type of person. I’m a private person and what people term an “extroverted introvert,” and am reserved when in situations with people that I don’t know well. I seem like a completely different person from what is going on in my head. The truth is though that every day I’m frazzled, struggling, wondering where time went because I literally lost time and have no idea how that happened. I’m either everywhere, ridiculously distracted by random things, can’t be bothered to get out of my chair, or I’m hyperfocused for like 6 hours.
Getting diagnosed with ADHD has been a recent thing – about the past two years, so I’ve had 20+ years of coping with it and thinking it was normal. ADHD can be likened to riding a roller-coaster. Except you do that every day. At least 10 times per day. Your decisions, as well as your emotions, change every few hours. Sometimes hourly. Sometimes every half hour. You walk somewhere, completely forget what you’re doing because something else was merely shiny, and then you’re wandering around trying to grasp that fleeting thought because you know it was there, and you know you need to do something. You just literally can’t remember what.
For ADHD-ers, spiraling is a real part of life. It is so easy to be overwhelmed when you have ADHD. You’ll be happy, doing great, and one thing – one small, tiny thing – puts a divot in that, and it festers and grows until you feel like you’re a failure at life because look at all these people that raise kids and find time to ride and go out with their hubby, and here you are single with a horse and unable to cook for yourself, do your laundry, clean ANYTHING, or socialize, and you look at everything you CAN’T do and are failing at, so then now you’re at the dregs of depression. And then because you feel like shit your sleep is messed up, so to top it off now you’re really exhausted.
Sometimes that’s an every day cycle. It’s why ADHD can be mistaken for depression a lot of the time (though please know that actual, diagnosed depression is different than ADHD-induced depression). Because you’re tired. You’re tired of needing medicine to just fucking focus. You want to be a normal person that can just sit down and do things, yet you literally cannot do that because of your executive dysfunction. You just want to be normal, so you get upset at yourself because you can’t do things, so then you stop taking your meds because why can’t you do what others can do, and then you spiral even harder because you can’t focus, and work or life or everything just suffers. But can you pull yourself out of it? Sometimes. Sometimes it takes weeks. Sometimes months. This is all internal, at least for me. It doesn’t tend to show on the outside. Except, well, when it got so bad this past July that it did show on the outside.
RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria, is there in nearly every person that has ADHD, and doesn’t help this whole spiral whatsoever. I discovered this probably two or so weeks ago, and wow. So much of how I think, how I’ve done and experienced things, is tied into RSD. It basically is defined as “an extreme (dysphoria means “difficult to bear”) emotional reaction to the perception of rejection, failure, or criticism – regardless of the circumstantial reality.” (Btw, if you are interested in reading more, this article that I stumbled upon where it explains RSD put everything I didn’t realize I was feeling/doing in my every day life into words) This put so much into perspective – why I don’t try, why I always feel like anything I do isn’t enough, why any time I felt like someone would be disappointed in me I experienced this crippling panic, how I do practically anything to avoid failure (this includes not showing because what if I’m not good enough and I fail?! to the point that the anxiety is vomit-inducing). We get so afraid to say anything, to be that failure or disappoint, that it often shows up as indifference, lack of communication, or even disruptive behavior, when we’re really just petrified of that perceived failure, because we’re sure we already are one.
The only time my brain is blissfully quiet, that everything slides together to work like a well-oiled machine of focus and multi-tasking, is when I ride horses. That doesn’t mean my self-depreciating voice isn’t there telling me all the things I can’t do. It’s just that when I ride, my brain is able to focus, to multitask, to consciously remember things I’m supposed to be doing and actually work like a normal brain. It’s why I don’t like taking my meds if I’m going to ride, because the moments around horses are the only moments when my mind is normal, when I can be normal.
It makes sense that – when I was riding horses (Amber, specifically) – I had an epiphany about that self-depreciating voice in my head. I remember Amber tried so hard, and was making progress so I was praising her a lot. And all while I told her what an amazing pony she was, my brain was chanting why couldn’t you do that your hand was atrocious don’t you have any control of your legs and god she was able to do it why not you you’re just no good at this. And suddenly it hit me. I rewarded Amber every time she tried even the slightest bit, made sure that every time she didn’t understand something, I would determine to be extra patient and slow down the gait, re-explain it to her, and try again. Why couldn’t I do the same for myself?
So I turned up the volume of the voice for horses in my head, and turned it on myself. Good job! it’d say. You tried really hard, and your abs were engaged and you kept track of your legs this time – look at you! Our left hand is a WIP, but you had good moments with it. It takes time, and we’ll build it every day, okay? And I forced myself to change the narrative, to have that patience for myself, because right after that was when I was diagnosed, and it suddenly all made sense. Now, because I knew how and why my brain worked the way it did, it allowed me to actually feel and accept the words my horse-voice was trying to tell me. It allowed me to believe them, and I’ve come leaps and bounds with that way of thinking, just like my rewards and extra-patience have benefited Amber immensely as well.
It’s why in a lot of rides I blogged about before Amber’s injuries, and ones I blog about now, there are hardly any negatives because I’ve had to change that narrative for not only Amber but for myself as well. When I don’t understand something, and have to ask for an explanation or for someone to repeat themselves a lot, I get extremely anxious and afraid that people will say “god, can’t you just understand this?! Why do we even bother with you?” or reprimand me for being/sounding stupid. When Amber doesn’t understand something, she gets anxious and afraid that I will reprimand her. Huh. Okay, then. So, now instead of getting upset and frustrated, I bring it back, discuss it another way, and try again. Because I changed this for her, and by extension myself, there are so fewer places for things to go wrong, for us to have a struggled ride. Because she’s trying, I’m trying, and Amber and I are partners in this struggle-bus, so any progress is good progress. Sometimes we still have the off ride (and notice I said “off” not “bad”). She had lost her work ethic when I first started easing her back into riding, but at the same time, I was convinced she also expected things to hurt. So it took extra praises, extra pets, but she realized this is light stuff and her work ethic bounced back. The other night I’m not sure what was wrong but she wasn’t focused, wasn’t listening, and practically the whole ride was off (I’ll expand on the ride in another post). But I do insist on calling them “off” rides because they’re off of our norm. They’re deviations rather than consistent behavior. Speaking about it this way also eases my anxiety, which helps me to learn from the ride rather than let it negatively impact my mood/headspace.
And man, I have worked really, really, really hard to change that narrative in my head. So that my anxiety about not being a good enough rider for my horse, for a show, for anything wouldn’t be so crippling. So that when I tell myself we’re showing for the horse’s experience, and let’s just give it a try, and have fun! I can actually believe the words I’m saying. The anxiety is still there, because I want to be a good leader for my horse that day, and reward all their tries, but it isn’t so bad anymore. It’s been 2 years of slogging through that, of finding pages that have others just like me. I’m still finding things connected to ADHD – like my recent discovery of RSD – that now give me more tools to work with, to understand my neurodivergent brain. It’s a never-ending struggle, a never-ending discovery of information, so a never-ending work in progress.
As much as I’ve worked on my anxiety, you can bet your ass I am pretty petrified to post this. Writing this was therapeutic. Publishing it… Let’s just say my anxiety is a ball in my throat, and my hands are shaking lol. Even though it’s just about ADHD, it’s still personal, still that perceived criticism, despite knowing this blog community isn’t like that. So the anxiety sticks haha. But if this can help someone else, if it can help neurotypicals understand neurodivergents a little better, then I think putting myself out there is worth it.
I know this week is Thanksgiving, and this is a heavy post for the holidays, but I think I can also count this as a bit of a “thankful” post. I’m thankful there’s more research on this. I’m thankful that I’m understanding more about myself. I’m thankful that this blog community is so wonderful. I’m thankful I can ride Amber again and that we can actually have “off” rides again. I may post more this week – I’m not sure. My executive dysfunction has been kicking my ass recently in things non-work related (which, if my brain decides to function during work I’ll take that lol), but I’m hoping I can finally get some more of my posts out.
In case I don’t, happy Thanksgiving all, and thanks everyone for reading along 🙂
Messing around and vet check-up
After my last lesson, Amber seemed to take the “conserve all energy” way too close to heart lol. Usually she’s got a good swinging walk when we first mosey on out there for our 10 minute warm-up, but boy she was PLODDING along haha! She was determined not to expend any energy in that beginning warm-up lol! It took a few times around to get her more forward at the trot, but she gave me some good work once I really got her warmed up. As it’s gotten colder, she starts off pretty stiff on that RH stifle, so I haven’t enforced a frame during our first few times trotting. Just letting her stretch, warm up, and work out of it. This has actually been good for me. I set a 10 minute timer for our walk warm-up. A good 2 or 3 times around the arena to get some of that stiffness out. I am one that just hops on and goes. Not that I never did warm-ups for horses before, but I don’t have the best sense of time, so I’m positive more time has passed than it really has. I started to do a few more serpentines since those really encourage balance, and I can tell the faster change of rein amps Amber up a bit. Doing that left turn really gets her tense – I know it has to do with the balance needed for that turn. When we turned tho, she practically threw herself out by hollowing and dropping and speeding up – something she really hasn’t done in a while. So we had a short discussion about how she knows better, and she tried very hard the next time. I was also super pleased that after I cantered her to the right, Amber really listened and didn’t even try to offer me another canter – in either direction. Reining is all in the canter, so she’s used to “once we canter, we canter until we’re done.” I’ve been switching it up for her – cantering is easier for her than trotting, so if I am going to canter, I’ve cantered first and then done the rest of my trot work. It’s definitely given her a lot to think about, so I was very pleased when after cantering, she just settled back down and was content to trot. So I scrapped my previous decision for more cantering, and just let her trot. One more round of serpentines up the long side, and if she tried hard to the left and we were semi-successful then she was done. And she got a little fast, but she tried, so she got many pats and was done.
Leading up to my lesson I didn’t get to ride Amber as much as I wanted. I had completely forgotten about her equioxx in lieu of homework, so I had to order that and I took it way easy on her since I could tell she was trying, but her heart wasn’t completely in it since she didn’t feel so good. Thankfully, between the company and my awesome vet, I had a quick turnover to get them, and she was back on equioxx and feeling a lot better.
Then that Tuesday Amber had her routine check-up. We’ve had success with doing a radio-graph every few months just to make sure that LH hoof is growing right. Also, even though it warmed up after my lesson, cooler weather was on the forecast and we were slated to get some sub-30 degree nights. Amber’s been doing well, but just as a preventative, feel-good measure, I decided to get her stifle injected while the vet was out for her LH. I know it won’t “fix” anything, but it was more for Amber’s comfort than anything else. The winter after her surgery while we were battling her laminitis it was really clear that she was super uncomfortable on that RH stifle. So this winter, especially with me riding her more now, I wanted to inject it to give it a bit of cushion.
She was a very good girl for it all, but pretty sore the day after since she moved a lot during the injection. She usually stands pretty still, even without drugs, but I’m thinking that perhaps it was more tender than we thought.
I didn’t get a picture this time of her x-ray. It looked about the same as the last one (thank god) – she just still needed a lot of toe off. She tends to grow a lot more toe on her hind feet anyway, so I think that’ll always be a battle with that foot. But I am still ecstatic that while I’ve been riding her a lot more, the foot really doesn’t look any different. That’s so promising! I am warily giddy with excitement if that makes sense lol.
Whisper has had a bit of a mystery lameness ongoing now for over a year, so my mom hasn’t been able to get any ride time in. I’ve convinced her to hop on Amber and ride her around for a bit on my long days. That way, Amber gets out with a bit of forced work instead of doing nothing if turned out, and my mom has a chance to play around on a horse again. Its good for both of them!
The day after her injection, she got trimmed and I took her out for a good 15 minute walk. This cold weather isn’t helping (it got into the high twenties one night and Kahlua’s water froze!), so since I hadn’t really been able to work on serpentines under saddle, I did them during our 15 minute walk. It was cold and breezy and it may have been 55, but the “feels-like” said 45 so I am not ashamed to say that I wore my fleece breeches lol. I only had my sneakers on and a halter on Amber, but she knows what to do when I put my feet and hands in certain places. She got tense (as expected) and walked faster, but just a few encouraging words had her ears flicking back to me, then she took a deep breath and relaxed, and our next one was much better. Even if we weren’t “working,” it’s still a good reminder as we’re walking.
My mom rode her lightly on Friday to see how she felt. She said she felt very good – a lot more forward, more comfortable switching directions too, which I was very happy to hear. I want her to be as comfortable as I can get her, and spend good time together while I have the opportunities. My mom said she even did a little cantering – which is huge for my mom! She used to own a horse that bolted with her, and sometimes Amber’s speed unnerves her. But Amber has quite a few stop or slow-down buttons, so I was very proud of my mom for cantering, and very proud of my pony for taking care of my mom.
Thankfully, my lesson was on Sunday and pushed back to noon, so it’d be nice and warm (70!) for my lesson and I could get a good ride in on Saturday as prep. And Amber started out way more up than I was expecting. She felt really good, had a lovely swinging walk, and after one circle at the trot realized she felt really good. I did a little cantering – both ways! – and she felt a lot better. Still difficult, but as always, these things take time and muscle strength. I was very happy with the preliminary results! After cantering, I went back to our serpentines down the long side, and she tried really really hard. She knew she was good, and asked to stop, so I let her and ended the ride. She didn’t offer cantering again, really tried to do the thing and relax and what we’d had trouble on before, so I felt it was a good day and left it there.
Next up: our lesson! I finally remembered my helmet cam, too lol.
Dressage lesson #2
I had a lesson bright and early at 8 am on Saturday morning (three weeks ago), right when we were scheduled to get a cold spell. When 730 rolled around and I was out getting her tacked up I was severely regretting my decision lol. I am not going to lie that I was chilled, even though it was probably no lower than 55 degrees. Even still I was in a long sleeve shirt, a light vest, and a thicker pair of breeches. But the sun was out, it was a nice day, so I was warm enough pretty quickly.
Trainer G and I set up some cones for a “dressage court” and I proceeded to warm up Amber. And boy was she spicy. She wanted to go. So we did. I let her canter, but because she still doesn’t have that much strength, I tried to support her. It was like riding Tigger haha, with each stride way more vertical than ground covering. We cantered both ways, and finally I could feel her start to loosen up a bit, relax a little more, so let her walk since I didn’t want to take away all her energy or good movement before the lesson. After walking she was so proud of herself, and it made me happy that she’d actually been so fresh that morning because she was feeling good.
And then when I asked her to trot again she was like “wait, mom, no. Aren’t we stopping? That was all I needed. We’re done right? Mom! Ma!” But, as ever, she was a good girl and kept trying even though she reluctantly relented that FINE we had to keep working LOL. She definitely forgot that lesson of “you may expend your energy but after that it’s work” that we’ve been through plenty of times. She certainly had an “oh crap” moment when she realized there was still a lot of work to be done LOL.
Genevive and I went over some intro tests, riding them through. Amber was TIRED you guys haha! She had no medium walk, barely any free-walk…. I was pretty amused. She totally didn’t know this was going to happen, and I could feel her regretting her decision to be fresh lol. As always, Genevive understood, so the fact that I let Amber not be as forward didn’t bother her. I got some really good pointers tho on riding tests. Even if I don’t show Amber (and honestly, I don’t think I could; I’d probably be excused for riding a lame horse lol), it’s good practice, good knowledge for when I do either get another horse or do lessons on other horses. At the barn where Genevive keeps her horses, there’s an older mare that is a whiz in dressage. I’m thinking of have a lesson on her, as well as doing a jump lesson or two on a couple of Trainer’s horses sometime in the future.
As it was I was thanking Amber’s reining training through those tight turns in the faux dressage court! I know I showed Amber in the dressage two years ago, but two years is a long time, so I forgot haha. But lay that outside rein on her neck and our turn to center line was sharp. You know, when I remembered to make it sharp and ride Amber through it. We worked on a few sharper cue responses, a wee bit of geometry, and nuances of the test. It was a good lesson!
We did a teensy bit more cantering, but Amber was reaching her limit, so I left it at a half-circle and we ended on that. She got many many pats and treats afterwards, and was the proper tired, spoiled pony.
I do have to say that I think part of the reason she was so fresh was her new BOT sheet. I broke down and bought it ahead of the sales, mostly because I knew that we were going to get a cold spell that weekend. Her legs – especially that arthritic right front – have felt fantastic with the BOT quick wraps that I got a while ago. She loves her BOT dressage pad, and that stifle is a hard area to address. The sheet would totally cover it tho, and with my back starting to feel achy and old with the approaching cooler weather, I knew it was just as important for her to feel the best she could. The days leading up to my lesson she felt really good body-wise, so in the end I’m glad I just spent the money to buy it.
I have another lesson this weekend, so hopefully we’ll have had enough practice. I don’t think I’ll be able to squeeze any in, but we’ll see!
Family time
I had so much going on (oh crap, it’s been three weeks) three weeks ago. I need a vacation again haha.
First off, I was having a really hard time figuring out my homework, and also had a chance to get a lot of it done early. It was an Intro to Python coding class, and it was actually super fun. It’s like a puzzle when you work through it and I really like puzzles. The flowcharts…not so much. Thankfully, my sister and her family were coming to town that Wednesday, and my brother-in-law works with a lot of coding. So I roped him into helping me and understand way more now about what I needed to do. So that was a load off. (Thankfully, that class is done now! Yay!)
My sister and I dressed up the next day to hit the Age of Chivalry Renaissance Fair that hits Vegas once a year. Even if I never buy anything, it’s so fun to dress up, look at the vendors, and ogle all the amazing costumes others have put together. I (very obviously) loved stepping into the shops that had all the leather work. It smelled just like a tack shop, and if I lingered in those for a while, well thankfully my sister understood haha. We had a great time, and came back for an hour of R&R.
Then, the niece wanted pony rides! Which of course, I was more than happy to oblige. Amber was, too! She’s always loved Kaylee, and honestly I think that horse was the real MVP of their whole trip lol. Kaylee is three now, but every time she was around Amber, or I handed the lead rope/reins to her, Amber knew exactly who was on the opposite end. I am totally bias in thinking Amber is the bestest gem, but I honestly wouldn’t have believed half of the things Amber did to keep Kaylee safe had I not witnessed them myself. She was so slow, so careful, and even if Kaylee was pulling hard on Amber’s reins, she’d just lift her head and pause, almost like she was saying “no, no, I can’t walk faster than this,” and then Kaylee would look back, and Amber would just continue at the pace that matched Kaylee. It was seriously the most precious thing. Made me think a lot that this must be how P is for KC‘s tiniest dictator!
And that little girl, you guys (the kid btw LOL). I only “adjusted” the stirrups once – ONCE – and handed her the reins, and only the second time she hopped on Amber what did she do? Looked straight at me and said “adjust please?” for the second stirrup I hadn’t gotten to yet, reached herself forward and grabbed the reins before smiling huge and grabbing the pomel of my dressage saddle. She’s got it down that’s for sure! And she loved Amber’s bouncy trot, for which Amber was perfect for, and stayed balanced right in the center. Pretty sure she’s a natural lol. It was just a lot of fun being able to hang out with her – especially since she’s (thankfully) past the terrible twos lol. Whenever I would pat Amber, Kaylee would pat Amber. After that second ride, Kaylee reached down without prompting and said “Good girl, Amber!” as she pat her shoulder. It was the cutest thing.
We all had a really good time together. It especially helped that I had about five days off for it, so I was able to spend a lot of good, quality time with my sister and her family. But now, I just want to have more time off again haha!
Btw, Happy Halloween everyone!
Sunday dressage lesson
Sorry everyone. I know. I suck at blogging. I really meant to post this last week, but a lot happened and I just never really sat down to put all the video together until the other day. As I said in one of my previous posts, Amber did seem to like dressage better for the fact that I was helping to support her. I also know that dressage is a LOT of strength building – particularly in the hindquarters. And looking at her, she’s got a lot of muscle on the left side. Aaaaaand kind of none on the right side. Hey! Just like me! haha (I told Trainer G that Amber and I are 2 peas in a pod & perfect for each other because the both of us have the majority of our injuries on our right sides, and that we’re also too young to be this messed up – Amber arthritic and laminitic at 9, and me practically the same way at 28 lol)
Physical therapy is a pain, and hurts as you get stronger, but then once you’re stronger, you feel a lot better. I figure that Amber is never going to be or look perfectly sound, but I can help her stay as comfortable as possible, and if that’s by strengthening her body, then that’s what we’ll do. I loved Austen’s post about riding the older, unsound horse, and right now, I feel that’s where I am with Amber. Even tho she isn’t older, I’m not gonna lie that I feel a bit nervous posting video because of her arthritic knee, weak stifle, and recovering laminitic foot. But she loves to get out and be ridden, and I’m going to post the videos anyway. It may look bad as we go, and believe me, I’ve had my fair share of worrying that I’m doing too much, pushing her too hard, and she’s just not telling me no when I shouldn’t be doing this. But I can tell she’s so much happier. She nuzzles me after every ride. She’s been nickering at me more. She bumps my stomach as I’m putting the halter on as if to say “I’m so happy we’re going out, mom.” So, we may look lame, or off in videos, but whenever I release her to walk on a dropped rein, she’s always got her ears up.
Even though Trainer G is an h/j trainer, and does dressage in a way that aids jumping, she and I have a great trainer/student relationship. I know she’s always mindful of the horse and it’s abilities, so there was no one else I wanted to start up lessons with again. I was super happy that she was just as excited as I was to start up lessons again. It would be a lot easier for both of us doing lessons at our barn, so I was really looking forward to being able to ride my horse in our arena.
I had ridden Amber the previous week and Tuesday and Wednesday of lesson week. I had a long day Thursday so just walked around bareback on her, and I had Friday off. I had planned to ride, but had a good meet-up with my sister so I ended up not riding. Saturday we had sustained wind at 20 mph, so riding was out. This is definitely one reason I love being able to ride Amber again. I hadn’t really ridden her in 3 days, the wind brought a cool spell, it was still a bit breezy on Sunday, and I knew I would have to worry about absolutely none of it. She’s 9, broke, and is all business when I need her to be. What I wasn’t prepared to find was that my normally “I like to keep clean” pony had decided a pre-lesson nap was in order. And proceeded to sleep in her pee spot. After she’d gotten a bath on Wednesday so that we looked more presentable on Sunday. Oh, horses lol.
Either way we were saddled and ready when Trainer G got to us. It was a beautiful day – maybe about 78 degrees with a cool breeze – absolutely perfect. I will freely admit I was a little chilled when I first went out to tack up lol. Going from the 100s to mid-90s to 70s in about a week has been like whiplash for everyone here in Vegas – hence also why I’m sick. (I have been properly astonished to see how hot it is for everyone east of me/on the east coast and it’s practically noon here as I’m writing this and freaking 72 degrees. I can’t even lol since writing this tho, thankfully the majority of you guys have cooled off a bit!)
We started the lesson slow – a lot of walking, and Trainer G seeing how Amber and I worked together. It was awesome to have a lesson again, and on my pony (finally). There were just small things that I couldn’t tell from in the saddle that I needed to do differently: lower my outside hand, but raise the inside a little, thumb up on the left hand (I think that’ll be an eternal struggle lol). I loved how she told me to imagine I was riding Amber up a hill since I am definitely a tip-forward type of rider. That more than anything got my shoulders and my chin up! I could totally tell the difference after I started implementing that because Amber got a little lighter in front too. I explained to her that Amber can get behind the bit/vertical from her western training, and that I’ve been really careful with contact and whatnot since I really don’t want her doing that. I’d push her forward, but again, it was so good to have Trainer G’s eyes on the ground because I wasn’t pushing Amber forward quite enough. She’d dip and hide, but with a small cluck go forward and lift. She also had me shorten my reins a lot more than I usually do. I know as I was first introducing Amber to consistent rein contact, I’d have to have my reins pretty long, but shortening them really did help keep Amber more upright in her frame.
We did a lot of exercises at the walk as well. One was “standing up” on a front leg. I would transfer contact to the “inside” rein of the direction I was going, open my “outside” rein and use my same leg as the open rein to push her into the middle. It really helped to get Amber’s left side lighter – she’s pretty heavy on that left shoulder due to that right hind, so it was a bit of a no-brainer to work that into our lesson. I’ve worked with Amber plenty of other times on relatively similar exercises, but this one was certainly the best in getting Amber to pick herself up. She got a lot more responsive to my calf when I’d ask her to stand up on that shoulder as we walked/trotted a circle, and we’ve done that a lot since. We had a few fumbles on trot to walk transitions. I’d use my voice and she’s so attuned to that so she practically stopped haha. We figured out the best way was to sit quiet and still my whole body, and supporting ever so lightly with my leg. We’d have really good transitions then – just no talking haha. I did continue talking to her, and with every “good girl” she’d take a breath and try harder.
She tried her little heart out this lesson. We hardly did anything “big” but it was so much fun. We practiced leg yields at the walk as well, and thank god it was at the walk because me being me got directionally confused as usual lol. We were moving towards the rail, and Amber led with her shoulder, and Genevive kept saying “left rein” and my brain was like “yes, I use right rein” haha! So once we fixed me, our leg yields were much more successful lol. If Amber tried to lead with her shoulders, I’d just tighten my fingers, and firm up my arm holding that outside rein, and she responded just beautifully. Success!
There were other small things we worked on – straightness was always key, but we also ensured I completed my turns and kept Amber active even at a walk. She was definitely tired by the end – she was certainly doing a lot more targeted strength building than I’d been doing with her! But good girl as she always is she kept trying, and got many cookies afterwards lol. I was also super proud of her because only once did she think we would be cantering, and then settled right down into the work. I slathered her back, haunches, and legs with Sore-No-More, and she loved all the attention.
We have the incline to the barn from where the builders built up the pad, and there’s a wash off property that has an incline. Trainer G suggested we go up and down that for our strength building for Amber’s weak right side. So we’ve been doing the one near the barn a bit to start with. Amber is very confused about going up and down that, so hopefully sometime this weekend we’ll have a “trail ride” of inclines through that wash haha.
I’d meant to turn my helmet cam on for the lesson and forgot, so I have one of my previous rides to test out the larger SD card first, and my lesson videos my mom so wonderfully took for me second. One thing I didn’t realize is that I talk A LOT apparently. More than I’d originally thought I did lol. I’ve edited out the blank spaces of walking or not doing anything for both rides, so hopefully it’s a pleasant watch. I had another lesson scheduled for this weekend, and it was awesome. Amber felt great. Hopefully I’ll get that lesson recap out a little faster this time (although to be honest I sorta doubt it. Being very realistic here lol).
Overboard on new stuff
So, I may have gone kinda overboard. Oops lol.
First off, I’d noticed a trend before Amber’s surgery – she was infinitely more comfortable in her western wear than English. I thought perhaps it was just that she was more used to western, but I thought way back and remembered her easy transition once I’d gotten her jump saddle. The biggest difference? I had a Thinline half-pad and not an Ogilvy, even though she liked the latter for a time. But with her losing so much muscle, I really need something I could shim – even her dressage saddle is a little wide for her.
I will probably sell one of my Ogilvy pads (so if anyone is looking for one, please let me know! I’d love to sell it to a fellow blogger), but keep at least one. I’m loathe to part with a lot of my things I don’t use right now because whatever horse I get next may like different things than Amber.
But anyway. I’d been eyeing the full sheepskin half-pad. Because Amber is a special unicorn – not as special as some horses, thank god – but I want her as comfortable as I can help her be. And if half pads with support, and no neoprene ever is all she really asks for, then it’s hers lol. (I chose the fluffy because perhaps more cushion? I don’t know if she’ll notice the difference but we’ll see lol) But, you know, cue the “I don’t think I’ll be able to ride my horse for a while” thoughts and so for a long while I just dreamed and sighed of All The Things.
Then we got the go ahead for continued light riding. Then Trainer G said absolutely to dressage rides. So naturally, I completely fell apart and bought EVERYTHING.
The Thinline pad I wanted was on sale. AND it had my size where it didn’t previously. Well, what am I waiting for?! SOLD. Through some testing before it got to me, I found that the thickest foam front piece from my xc ECP pad was just the right thickness to shim up her dressage saddle. So a bit of MacGyver-ing later, and my ECP foam inserts are now being used in my Thinline. I will probably end up getting actual Thinline shims in the future, but for right now, this is perfect!
PS of Sweden was releasing their new fall line – they call it Jade but it totally looks teal to me. Anyway, I LOVE teal/turquoise. I dyed my hair teal. Once teal/turquoise became the “it” color for the year a few years ago, I bought everything in those colors because it was so hard to find any other time. And I can ACTUALLY RIDE now, so obvi, I was getting this whole set. It was waaaaaaay too expensive, but WORTH IT. I’ve missed out on their French blue, mint green, and other lovely colors because a) it IS expensive and b) I had no horse to ride, so now that I do I’m buying this one. Not to mention, this teal set is accented with brown and gold, and finding my fav colors accented with warm tones is actually way more difficult than one would think. I prefer warm colors, but a lot of things are accented with blacks/greys and silver and finding a warm color combination that I really like doesn’t happen often haha.
Plus, I need new dressage reins, cause my long braided ones totally don’t work (hint: they actually do work), and I still needed a certain amount to get PS’s free shipping, so what the hell, let’s buy reins to match my bridle. Because why the hell not. And they’re nice. I think Amber does actually really like the elastic in the reins, even though she didn’t when it was on the bridle. I’ll probably cut off the running stops they came with since I bought the snap-on ones. If I ever need a running martingale with the next horse I’d buy, I’d use the PS of Sweden running attachment that has the clips since that really is so much easier than the running attachments that you have to thread through the reins.
I also didn’t have stirrup leathers either! The horror. Just jump leathers that I’ve been using because do we ride much, if at all? Ah, no. I’ve been dying to try the Lund leathers, so a hop, skip, and a jump over to Lund and now I have new stirrup leathers (tho they haven’t arrived yet). To be fair, looking at short videos/pictures of me riding that my mom has taken, I really DO need new leathers because my jump ones are on hole 5 or 6 so I don’t have a lot more room to drop my stirrups down haha. So, uh, it was actually a needed purchase if I was going to keep riding dressage.
My horse stuff is taking over my poor parent’s spare room – ahhh, AND part of the sunroom, actually lol – so before all of this happened I finally bought a tack trunk to put all of my “not using right now and probably for a long time” items. I have a lot of loose leather items, too – the extra chin pad and strap that I got with my PS bridle, my gorgeous beads for my DJD browband, my chin straps for western bridles, extra spur straps – you name it. I kept losing things and finding them randomly, and while that’s normal for me, I really like all of my strap goods and I want to keep them all in one place. Now I have everything organized, and it looks pretty good.
I think this all just exploded because I’ve been super strict on myself to not buy anything horsey that wasn’t absolutely needed for about a year and a half.
Oh, lord. I really need to sell things. Anyone need anything? Black jump leathers? Breeches? Ogilvy half pad? A bling dressage pad? lol
So, I don’t need to buy anything for a while. And yet…. I do know that if RW has one of their 20% off sales, I am totally taking advantage of it and grabbing another BoT dressage pad and their therapeutic mesh sheet because Amber does seem to go a lot better when wearing the BoT pad I have now. Plus Weatherbeeta has a gorgeous French blue dressage pad. You know, since I missed the PS one…. Now that I can ride again I really need to keep telling myself I don’t need more stuff lol.
What about you guys? Have you gotten anything new?
Miracle Pony
I think Amber is part cat. I swear she has 9 lives.
Either way, I’m gonna do a (kind of) small recap.
In June 2012, I bought Amber as a 2yr old and brought her home with me.
July 2012, Amber got out of her pasture, and sustained a career ending injury – at least a dozen bone chips in her right knee, and – we were later to find out – damage to her hocks and right stifle. Only, it wasn’t career-ending, and 4 months later, to my hope and the vets’ astonishment – she was sound.
In 2015 she came to Texas with me, where a vet discovered that her hocks had sustained minor stress fractures from her injury in 2012. These were completely healed by then and didn’t affect her physically, but we theorized that sliding stops reminded her of that initial injury, so competitive reining was off the table.
In April of 2016, I watched the Kentucky cross country and show jumping live feed, and fell in love with eventing. Amber and I pressed on for our western showing goals, and even won a buckle.
Mid 2016, it looked like she’d gotten cast in her stall, and was lame on that right hind leg for about 3 days before it seemed to work itself out after I checked her over for a month as she still looked fine. (My mom and I later discussed a lot that Amber hadn’t had an issue before, but getting cast possibly set the ball rolling for the degeneration of that stifle)
In mid 2017, I got my English saddle, the horses moved home, and I was able to slip in some dressage work to show Amber English and western, and we won our western performance buckle that now permanently lives on my blingiest belt.
November 2017, just after the last show, we finally realized why she’d felt very slightly off, and scheduled her stifle debridement for January 2018.
December 2017 Amber decided to slam her jaw somehow into something, and cracked a tooth. Surgery was cancelled, and her tooth was pulled. It was expected that she’d be healed in a month. April 2018, after an abscess in her jaw and 4 months of the initial drain incision taking forever to heal, bone chips from her jaw finally come out, and she was cleared for surgery.
May 2018 she had a super positive surgery, and she healed very quickly.
July 2018 we were all scratching our heads. For as well as she’d seemed to heal, she now wasn’t – not really.
The first day of August 2018 we discovered she had laminitis and only 0.4 centimeters of sole left in her RH. We got her boots, immediate stall rest, and I was pretty certain I wasn’t going to be able to ride my horse after this. Everyone around me was positive, but my vet and I could both see that it wasn’t a situation that was likely to have a positive outcome.
The end of October 2018 found her to have grown a really good amount of sole – more than the vet was hoping or expecting (which is always a plus). Still strict stall rest, still soft ride boots, and another appointment 2 months later.
The January 2019 appointment was more good news, so I finally started to let myself hope that maybe I’d get to at least ride my horse at a walk sometime in the near future.
June 2019 the heel of her coffin bone was pretty low, stressing that back tendon, so we put her in a shoe and slightly wedged pad. This would test to see how her foot grew with a shoe and pad instead of being stuck in boots this whole time.
August 2019 check up saw her foot at its best so far, and she’s been moving consistently better in the past 3 months. Good enough that I got a go ahead for very light riding, and as I’ve been riding her more consistently over two or three weeks, she has definitely been happier. The little bit of work has felt like it’s been helping her body feel better too – physical therapy after her injuries, if you will.
And now, just a little over a year later, Amber and I had our very first dressage lesson together on Sunday, something that I never thought I would be able to do with her after that diagnosis.
This little mare, you guys. She’s such a miracle pony. Apparently, she isn’t done just yet. One thing is for sure – she’s going to keep me on my toes with all of her surprises!
More on that dressage lesson next post!
And the good news is…
Sorry for leaving you guys hanging! I attended the Women’s Leadership Conference or WLC in Vegas this year, and left on Sunday. I thought I may still have time to blog buuuuuuut apparently not haha. It was really good though, and I highly recommend it. But let’s get to the news!
Last Amber saw the vet 8 weeks ago, she’d worn down her sole to where she was very uncomfortable, and her coffin bone was pretty straight, so she needed a wedge pad that could take the pressure off of her back tendon. So, she got a full set of shoes again, and my farrier lopped off all of that extra toe. More could still come off, but obviously there’s only so far you can take a hoof down in one trimming.
But her x-rays and feet went from looking like this:
To looking like this:
You can bet I’m feeling pretty damn good about that. Just a big breath of relief. Looks like we’ve found a perfect angle, and having shoes on the hind feet and a pad is all just the right mix for her. That’s A LOT of sole that she grew, which is super positive. Even Doc said that in all her x-rays she’s never grown this much hoof, which is excellent. A definite “yes” that we’re on the right track again! I know she’s happy – she really really hated those boots lol.
Doc also said that she’ll probably have a very normal-looking foot. While that’s a plus, I’m certainly not too worried even if it’d look abnormal. It’d just get trimmed in the way it functioned the best. It’s still a positive, though, so you can bet that I’m taking that too haha! Her front feet are looking positive as well, and I think she’s a lot more comfortable.
But the best news?
She should be pretty rideable in another 4 to 6 months!
Not anything like we used to, and mostly a let’s-putz-around-trail-horse. She can probably do a bit of loping here and there, but mostly long walks and some trotting, and that’s more than I thought I’d get a while back, so yeah I am extremely happy lol.
Part of what I wanted to try that was low-key and low-impact for her was liberty. She already follows me around mostly, so I figured that maybe we can turn it into something else we do together. We’ll see how it goes lol. I’ve never made her following me into a job, so now that I can start doing a wee bit more riding I may not do liberty too extensively.
Her right hind is still short, still hitches a wee bit. But the more I get her out to just walk around, the better it gets each time. I think part of it is that it’ll never be 100% and has some scar tissue blockage there. The other part I think is that she still expects that left hind to hurt, even if she’s feeling better, which I can totally understand. I rode her over the weekend, and I’m going to hopefully hop on her 3-4 times a week now. Mostly just walking, and maybe at most 15 minutes because it’s god-awful hot for anything longer if it’s not at 5 am or pitch-black out lol. But I’ll be monitoring her every ride.
Ya’ll, this little girl really is a miracle pony. Even Doc said that she’s really been surprising him with how well she’s doing. It’s certainly a relief!
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